When I was a kid, my dream was to become a doctor and find the cure for cancer. I grew up, my dreams changed, but my ambition didn’t get any smaller. I’ve always had big dreams, dreams that I might never realise.
But something interesting started happening last year. I started adjusting my dreams and making them small. I thought they were somewhat silly. “Making a big impact in the world? Who you think you are Yasmine” I said to myself. “Climbing the corporate ladder to the highest level? There are more important things than your job”. “Have enough money to be able to buy your dream car? This is so shallow; money will corrupt you, try to earn enough money to live a decent life”. Kids have that kind of dreams; adults know their limits and what they’re capable of achieving.
I thought I was just “adulting” and that it was just a standard step to adjust my dreams to ones I can achieve. Maybe at some point in life that’s what happens. But I know now, or at least I think I do, that it’s not what was going on.
Because no one around me had that kind of dreams, I felt like mine weren’t valid. So I started owning others dreams: have a partner, a family, buy a house, go on holidays once a year. Because everybody around me was having this kind of life, so I thought that to be happy, I should do the same.
Don’t get me wrong; I always wanted a family, a house, a dog. But it was never the central part of my life; it was peripheral. It’s until I miserably failed to start this type of life that I realised that maybe, just maybe, this type of life is not what I want right now. Failure was a part of my brain pushing back and saying: “Don’t do this, it’s not what you want and need right now”.
I have this feeling that I’m in a monochromatic world. The colours that dreams bring are missing. I feel like I am in a post-apocalyptic world where societies are dreamless. The dream is the same for everybody.
I always hated when people say “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” I used to reply: It’s all about the destination. I think I am half right, keep in mind the destination and make it big enough to enjoy the journey.
I hope that this doesn’t come across as condescending. Do yourself a favour; please remind yourself, and everyone around you that needs reminding, that you can still dream, that you can still achieve your dreams. Maybe you cannot pursue your dreams now because of many reasons. Putting the needs of your loved ones before your needs. Past decisions that you have to live with. Or fear of change. But don’t suppress what you want just because you can’t reach it right here, right now. Time doesn’t exist in the land of the dreamers.
Dream big, and write back.